The Mom: If you couldn't tell by her wide-eyed vicarious enjoyment, look for the kid keeping a stern 4 paces in front of her. Sure, she only bought a ticket to chaperone her child, but damn if she isn't just loving the journey.
The Obstacle: You know you're the obstacle if you're over 6'6" and love big hats. Also, you probably like swaying and standing in front of shorter people.
The Mountaineer: closely related to the obstacle, the mountaineer has severely overestimated the Desert experience. He is easily identified by his hiking boots, wool socks, canteen, and wide-brim hat. He also easily identified by his ridiculously aloof appearance at the dance tent.
The Bro: In case you weren't aware, Coachella is in Riverside county. For further proof, that guy over there is wearing a Kottonmouth Kings shirt with no sleeves.
Kid with Glow-sticks: Why the fuck does that kid have glow-sticks? He's not even doing anything with them.
Unfortunate Goth: Yep, no matter what, someone always thinks its a good idea to put on big black pants covered in buckles and go spacewalking through the desert.
The Old Person: Coachella's new target demographic. Evidence #1: Jack Johnson, Prince, Roger Waters. Evidence #2: That flattened Ensure bottle on the ground. Evidence #3: There's a hell of a lot of old people around this year.
The Jailbait: Good God Damn, that 14-year-old is wearing a toothbrush for a top. Somebody call her parents.
The Random Celebrity: Is that Danny DeVito?