Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Ten People You Meet At Coachella

The Friend: Probably the most depressing figure at Coachella, this person has no taste whatsoever but tags along with their hip buddy to all the bands they like. The sad part is that no matter how many great acts they are dragged through, they will never be able to get into music. They are on the outside looking in, and it is costing them a lot of money. 

The Mom: If you couldn't tell by her wide-eyed vicarious enjoyment, look for the kid keeping a stern 4 paces in front of her. Sure, she only bought a ticket to chaperone her child, but damn if she isn't just loving the journey.

The Obstacle: You know you're the obstacle if you're over 6'6" and love big hats. Also, you probably like swaying and standing in front of shorter people. 

The Mountaineer: closely related to the obstacle, the mountaineer has severely overestimated the Desert experience. He is easily identified by his hiking boots, wool socks, canteen, and wide-brim hat. He also easily identified by his ridiculously aloof appearance at the dance tent.

The Bro: In case you weren't aware, Coachella is in Riverside county. For further proof, that guy over there is wearing a Kottonmouth Kings shirt with no sleeves. 

Kid with Glow-sticks: Why the fuck does that kid have glow-sticks? He's not even doing anything with them.

Unfortunate Goth: Yep, no matter what, someone always thinks its a good idea to put on big black pants covered in buckles and go spacewalking through the desert. 

The Old Person: Coachella's new target demographic. Evidence #1: Jack Johnson, Prince, Roger Waters. Evidence #2: That flattened Ensure bottle on the ground. Evidence #3: There's a hell of a lot of old people around this year.

The Jailbait: Good God Damn, that 14-year-old is wearing a toothbrush for a top. Somebody call her parents.

The Random Celebrity: Is that Danny DeVito?

1 comment:

Kathy Miranda said...

I know, isn't my blog great?