Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Welcome to the Machine

My joblessness continues, and has escalated to the point that I'm currently in Sacramento with my parents because I cannot afford to otherwise feed myself. And in honor of my crushing defeat to the great corporate machine, here's some music news with a soul-destroying industry flava.

Prince's UK Label, BMG, has given him the boot after he released free CD's with magazines. In other news, magazine industry still smilin'. Suck on that harshness, BMG.

Beth Ditto, famous for being fat and naked, is making her own fashion line for fat girls. Yay Yay! The big business world has accepted you, Beth! She'll be the pleasantly plump Avril in no time.

Matchbox 20 is recording a new album. Write your senators, people.

Pete Doherty's rapidly multiplying legal blows may actually catch up to him. This is proof that he's either not as rich or not as famous as we imagined. Wait, what does he do again?

Slash has ruffled some legal feathers for smoking onstage in the UK. Smoking. A cigarette. At a show. in the UK. A regular, nicotine cigarette. In other news, UK legal authorities have announced major headway in their new molehill-based mountain-building project.

Timbaland is quitting music. Y'know, like Jay-Z. err, like Eminem. Or David Bowie. wait a minute... something smells stunty. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how the new Timba-manned Duran Duran album goes. IT MIGHT BE HIS LAST! BETTER BUY FOUR!

Justin Timberlake and 50 Cent are writing a song about porn! but, because they're SO edgy, they're using a code word: Technology. Heaven forbid they use the P-word. Not that P-word. Or that one.

Amy Winehouse carved her husband's name into her stomach. As AWESOME as that is, some rabble-rousers have roused rabble over her erratic and now directly self-destructive behavior, claiming she's in some sort of downward spiral. Psh, they said the same thing about Cobain, and look how successful he was.

I've been cookin' up another record label rant, and I think i'm just about ready to unleash. However, due to my borrowed means, I'll probably be much slower than usual. forgive me.

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