Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Fuck You, Physical Album Purchasers! (Rant)

Top 10 Albums sold in 2006
Rank Title, ArtistUnits sold
1. High School Musical, Soundtrack3,719,071
2. Me and My Gang, Rascal Flatts3,479,994
3. Some Hearts, Carrie Underwood3,015,950
4. All the Right Reasons, Nickelback2,688,166
5. Futuresex/LoveSounds, Justin Timberlake2,377,127
6. Back to Bedlam, James Blunt2,137,142
7. B'day, Beyoncé2,010,311
8. Hannah Montana, Soundtrack1,987,681
9. Taking the Long Way, Dixie Chicks1,856,284
10. Extreme Behavior, Hinder1,817,350

Listen, I realize that not all people who buy actual CD's at real Record stores are deserving of the F-bomb, but take a look at that chart. I tracked this down after reading an article in Rolling Stone that seemed to decry the lack of albums purchased as the death of the music industry. Personally, I've been enjoying watching the record folks squirm and I don't think it's gone far enough. This is an industry that's been pushing artists to put out singles for decades, because then fans of the single purchase a whole album to get to that song. Now, the single-centric fans that have been long-bred to get totally fucking lost in that one song can get just that one song for a reasonable price, and it's ultimate backfire on the ivory tower crowd. I can only see this as helpful. The only way this is hurtful to artists is if those artists are entirely dependent on label support. Any musician worth their salt is dependent on labels only because that's the current landscape and the industry has made it expensive and difficult to self-produce and self-promote with any real effectiveness. So when the dinosaurs choose not to adapt to the changing climate of the world post-iTunes-meteor, they die off and the more intelligent species continue. And now, because that was very convoluted, I will just talk smack about that 2006 list.

High School Musical? Really? Apparently Soccer moms have yet to discover the joy of in-car MP3 for their minivan/station wagon. Honestly, I can't think of anyone between the ages of 16-30 who could purchase this and not feel just a little bit like they've defiled themselves. Same goes for Hannah Montana. I don't really know the concept behind Hannah, but if it involved anything other than her being mercilessly ridiculed by her peers for her stupid rhyming name, it's beyond my ability to suspend disbelief. And I watched Mystery Men, twice. Unironically.

Nickelback. It's one thing to see a band like the Mars Volta pull a crab every once in a while trying to pull off a very difficult and rare style, but how is it so hard to be a radio-friendly rip-off of Nirvana that you'd have to break formula and write pastepudding country songs? Come on, fellas. Buy a Fuel album or two, you'll get the hang of it I promise. By the way, one of the things the RS article mentioned was that Creed was in the top 10 in 2000. And even though today everyone agrees that Creed sucks, everyone is still buying this shitty style (they're still even buying Creed records, which have surpassed 11 million). The masses ARE asses.

Hey, remember when everyone loved the Iraq war and hated the Dixie Chicks for not also loving it? Yeah, well suck it. This shallow victory goes out to everyone who saw this shitstorm coming back when Bush was rigging his first election.

And can someone please tell me who the fuck Hinder is? I have never heard of this artist or band, and it is shocking me greatly to know that they've released a top-selling album. I assume they're a country act, since those can be wildly successful without being the least bit remarkable (ahem, Rascal Flatts). In fact, from now on I think all modern country albums should be released under the artist name "The New Country Western Good-Time Conglomerate" and then they can all just split the money. They've been inbreeding ideas, lyrics, and styles for some time now. It makes me very sad that Johnny never lived to put a cigarette out in Kenny Chesney's eye.

But again, please inform: WTF is Hinder?

EDIT: I'm bummed. I completely overlooked the fact that Beyonce's album is called B'day, which i'm certain is pronounced exactly the same as "Bidet."

1 comment:

Faaip said...

From Wiki:

Hinder is an American rock band from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. They formed in 2005 and they were immediately signed to an independent label, and released their first EP. It sold about 5,000 copies. This EP came to the attention of Universal Records, in which Hinder was introduced into a major record label contract. Although All Music Guide called Extreme Behavior one of the year's worst albums, throughout 2005, the album was heavily anticipated, and Hinder won the monthly Launch "Who's Next" contest for emerging bands.[citation needed] Their Brian Howes and Mike Fraser produced album, Extreme Behavior, was then set for release in the United States. The single ""Get Stoned" from Extreme Behavior was also released on iTunes as a free Single of the Week in August 2005.

Hinder is currently on tour with Burden Brothers and Black Stone Cherry. The band played three dates with the mega rock band Aerosmith in December 2006.[1] Hinder jumped on to the rock scene with their debut single "Get Stoned". The band then toured in support of Extreme Behavior. The band's second single, "Lips of an Angel", did far better on the charts, hitting #1 on several, and garnered international attention. "Lips of an Angel" is now being covered by country artist Jack Ingram. The band's third single from their debut album is "How Long". The fourth single is called "Better Than Me".

On December 22, 2006, Hinder released an acoustic version of the Christmas carol "Little Drummer Boy" to the members of the Hinder Army, their online fan club.

"Extreme Behavior" track "Shoulda" was originally written and recorded by Canadian band Social Code for their "A Year At The Movies" album, but was scrapped when finalising the album. The song was brought to Hinder by Universal when trying to finish up their album.

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Sounds like your favorite band ever