|Rank Title, Artist||Units sold|
|1. High School Musical, Soundtrack||3,719,071|
|2. Me and My Gang, Rascal Flatts||3,479,994|
|3. Some Hearts, Carrie Underwood||3,015,950|
|4. All the Right Reasons, Nickelback||2,688,166|
|5. Futuresex/LoveSounds, Justin Timberlake||2,377,127|
|6. Back to Bedlam, James Blunt||2,137,142|
|7. B'day, Beyoncé||2,010,311|
|8. Hannah Montana, Soundtrack||1,987,681|
|9. Taking the Long Way, Dixie Chicks||1,856,284|
|10. Extreme Behavior, Hinder||1,817,350|
Listen, I realize that not all people who buy actual CD's at real Record stores are deserving of the F-bomb, but take a look at that chart. I tracked this down after reading an article in Rolling Stone that seemed to decry the lack of albums purchased as the death of the music industry. Personally, I've been enjoying watching the record folks squirm and I don't think it's gone far enough. This is an industry that's been pushing artists to put out singles for decades, because then fans of the single purchase a whole album to get to that song. Now, the single-centric fans that have been long-bred to get totally fucking lost in that one song can get just that one song for a reasonable price, and it's ultimate backfire on the ivory tower crowd. I can only see this as helpful. The only way this is hurtful to artists is if those artists are entirely dependent on label support. Any musician worth their salt is dependent on labels only because that's the current landscape and the industry has made it expensive and difficult to self-produce and self-promote with any real effectiveness. So when the dinosaurs choose not to adapt to the changing climate of the world post-iTunes-meteor, they die off and the more intelligent species continue. And now, because that was very convoluted, I will just talk smack about that 2006 list.
High School Musical? Really? Apparently Soccer moms have yet to discover the joy of in-car MP3 for their minivan/station wagon. Honestly, I can't think of anyone between the ages of 16-30 who could purchase this and not feel just a little bit like they've defiled themselves. Same goes for Hannah Montana. I don't really know the concept behind Hannah, but if it involved anything other than her being mercilessly ridiculed by her peers for her stupid rhyming name, it's beyond my ability to suspend disbelief. And I watched Mystery Men, twice. Unironically.
Nickelback. It's one thing to see a band like the Mars Volta pull a crab every once in a while trying to pull off a very difficult and rare style, but how is it so hard to be a radio-friendly rip-off of Nirvana that you'd have to break formula and write pastepudding country songs? Come on, fellas. Buy a Fuel album or two, you'll get the hang of it I promise. By the way, one of the things the RS article mentioned was that Creed was in the top 10 in 2000. And even though today everyone agrees that Creed sucks, everyone is still buying this shitty style (they're still even buying Creed records, which have surpassed 11 million). The masses ARE asses.
Hey, remember when everyone loved the Iraq war and hated the Dixie Chicks for not also loving it? Yeah, well suck it. This shallow victory goes out to everyone who saw this shitstorm coming back when Bush was rigging his first election.
And can someone please tell me who the fuck Hinder is? I have never heard of this artist or band, and it is shocking me greatly to know that they've released a top-selling album. I assume they're a country act, since those can be wildly successful without being the least bit remarkable (ahem, Rascal Flatts). In fact, from now on I think all modern country albums should be released under the artist name "The New Country Western Good-Time Conglomerate" and then they can all just split the money. They've been inbreeding ideas, lyrics, and styles for some time now. It makes me very sad that Johnny never lived to put a cigarette out in Kenny Chesney's eye.
But again, please inform: WTF is Hinder?
EDIT: I'm bummed. I completely overlooked the fact that Beyonce's album is called B'day, which i'm certain is pronounced exactly the same as "Bidet."