Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Crazy People Make Music. Surprised?

I read an article today by the one and only Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent. It (at first) describes the arguably unfair firing of some roadies fired by vegan Paul McCartney over some contraband hamburgers. Now, I've been a vegetarian and a vegan (if you count it in small, accidental spurts) and am now back on the omnivorous side of the fence. I don't really care if Paul fires his roadies or cooks them over an open fire (I imagine Ted would be equally torn over this decision), but the Nuge stepped up and drilled Sir Paul like a Fist Fightin' Son Of A Gun (that's a Nugent song). Well, he would have, if he hadn't gone on to accuse anything left of mainstream conservative politique as a certifiable mental disorder. I'm not about to step into the quagmire of saying he's wrong or he shouldn't have said that, because he's got his freedoms and his opinions and he fucking kills with both guitar and composite bow and that ain't nothin' to fuck with. But I, as a trained disciple of the Wu-Tang clan, am likewise unable to be fucked with. And I will say, Mr. Nuge, that you have made my list of Awesomely Batshit-Crazy Musicians. Here tis':

Top 10 Awesomely Batshit-Crazy Musicians
Bjork
Bob Dylan
Captain Beefheart
Gibby Haynes
Iggy Pop
Morrissey
Peter Gabriel
Syd Barrett
Ted Nugent
Wesley Willis

I know there are plenty of crazies out there and plenty of awesomely weird musicians, but this hall is reserved exclusively for people who are distinctly and recognizably out of their gourd to such an extent that it made their music friggin' awesome. I'm sure at some point i'll revise and explain this list, but it stands thus for now. And it's not numbered, because you can't quantify crazy, no matter what the Tyrant Wendigo-King may claim.

So, I guess the moral of the story is, don't fuck with the Nuge. Or he'll accuse you of being exactly what's wrong with america, even though you're a British Knight.

For More Nugent-related Knee-Slappin', this excerpt from the McSweeney's Book Of Lists

Next Time On "I Fought The Lol:" Top 10 Awesomely Batshit-Crazy Ways To WOW Your Man In The Bedroom!

3 comments:

Faaip said...

how the hell did g. g. allen not make this list

Matt Dupree said...

Because G.G. Allin was crazy and terrible. He didn't even live long enough to commit the on-stage suicide he promised.

Faaip said...

but he shit on stage and fucked a girl in it!